Raising Isaac

Isaac walking

2009-04-28T22:04:00.001-07:00

And he's off....

Isaac's 1st Birthday

2009-04-18T20:12:00.001-07:00

Check out this great video of Isaac enjoying his 1st birthday cake and first real taste of sugar! Special appearances by Andy, Jack and Alicia Elbert, Aaron, Shefa and Jonah Sharkey, Lea Rominquet and Daddy Marc. We're so proud of our little boy and can't believe that we now have a toddler... my god! This past year has been crazy and I feel like the whirlwind is yet to come. Isaac has grown sooo much in this past month. It seems like he changes a bit more each day. You can see him become more aware of himself and the world around him. I love seeing things through his eyes and feel this strong sense of responsibility to show him as much of the world as I can. Phew...

Balloon curiosity

2009-04-10T19:39:00.001-07:00

Balloon curiosity, originally uploaded by urbanbrat89.

Love this picture of Isaac, taken at our friend Gia's 2nd Birthday Party. He's getting to be such a big boy and is curious about everything... including balloons.

I love how he just studies something new so intensely. Today we had our pre-op appointment for Isaac's debumping and he was facinated for about 15 minutes with the LPN's mouse with a red tracking light. They also gave us a little oxygen mask for him to take home and play with. He loved watching me put it over my mouth and then placing it over his mouth. I hope he's just as interested on the day of the actual surgery.

More on that soon...

Almost One

2009-04-01T22:51:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it? We have almost hit the one year mark and in the last couple of weeks Isaac has hit some important milestones:

First steps
Standing on his own
Clapping
Things go in things
Here take this (handing Mama different objects)
Words like Dada, Mama, that and yay (those last two are still intelligible to any one else but Marc and me)
Sign language ~ more
Dancing... the kid has rhythm!
Temper... especially if he is hungry or tired
6 new teeth ~ 4 on top and 2 new ones on the bottom for a total of 8 chompers.
Sleeping 11 1/2 hours each night... thank GOD!

Isaac in the Kitchen

2009-02-15T15:49:00.001-08:00

Isaac loves to hang out with us while we cook or do dishes. He has a cabinet and a drawer that has a few items that he can pull out and play with. As you can also hear he's gotten to be quite the chatter bug. He's pulling up and standing on his own more and more. He also is beginning to understand what we are saying to him... not that he pays much attention to our warnings. We have been having fun at the YMCA pool and swimming once or twice a week. I'll try to get some pictures or video of that posted soon.

Happy Holidays and a Fantastic 2009

2009-01-04T08:09:00.000-08:00

Once again the holiday season caught me by surprise and again it flew by just as quickly. We had a wonderful first Hannukah and Christmas with Isaac. I'm working on a seprate post about these two holidays and what they each mean to me. In the mean while I've added a few of my favorite pictures of Isaac over the last couple of weeks.

Little Boy

2008-12-10T21:47:00.001-08:00

When I went to the sitter's place this evening to pick up Isaac I found that the baby that I dropped off this morning had morphed into a little boy. I walked in the door and he was standing in his apparent favorite spot at the corner of the coffee table and the couch. He was inching his way to his intended target, his yellow and orange striped toy cat. Remember I said he was determined... Anyway, he looked up and gave me the BIGGEST grin and giggled in pure delight. What an awesome way to be greeted at the end of a long day!

Isaac has a lot to say these days.

Also, I've been solo parenting this week while Marc is in the ATL... Hotlanta that is. In the meanwhile it has gotten quite chilly here! Check out Isaac in his get up this morning.

Ha Haaaaa Mamma!

2008-12-09T22:39:00.000-08:00

Who me? I'm sooo innocent.... just ignore the mess ;)

I can take things out of things...

Ummm... just ignore me.

Here... let me move these around a bit.

After scattering my diapers all over the floor I decided to cruise the ottoman.

Check out the mischievous smile on this kids face!

Isaac giggles

2008-12-09T22:17:00.001-08:00

Isaac had a giggle fest the other night at dinner time...

Where the heck did this year go?

2008-12-09T21:12:00.000-08:00

2008 will end in just a few weeks and it has me wondering where this year went! It makes my head swim to think back to this time last year. I was 5 months pregnant... looking a bit like this.

Now I am the mother of an 8 month old! It is almost too much for my little brain to comprehend. The woman in this picture really has no clue as to what is in store for her.

Isaac is so active, lovable, funny, determined (I think I mentioned that in my last post), curious, and has a strange love of electrical cords and generally anything else that is dangerous around the house. We are in major child proofing mode and have had to tape, plug, hide, sweep, vacuum and build fortresses around anything hazardous. Try crawling around your house and you'll be surprised to find booby traps everywhere! He's been pulling himself up to standing for a month now and is starting to figure out how to cruise the furniture. He particularly loves my dresser and seems to want to climb up it... if he could only figure out how?!?

We went in for his check up and vaccines on Friday and he's 18.9 lbs and 27 1/2 inches long now. He's eating 3 meals a day and is 100% on formula. It's made me a bit sad to give up breastfeeding, a disappointing side effect of going back to work. I'm grateful that I was able to give him 7 months of the good stuff. I'm pretty impressed with his willingness to try new foods and so far we've only had one allergic reaction... spinach. Guess we'll have to wait for his Popeye imitation.

I have uploaded a ton of pictures from November, if you get a second check them out http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0CZtmLlw2bMX1A .

More to come VERY soon!

November 5th...A New Era

2008-11-05T13:29:00.001-08:00

Well, last night we as a nation came together in a way that we have not in years. As Isaac slept soundly upstairs, I sat with my family and watched Barak Obama's acceptance speach as the President Elect of the United States. I have never felt my heart strings be tugged so strongly as they were listening to him speak. The words of my father earlier that day rang in my ears..."Now my grandson can run for President." It also means that some day our daughters could be president. Maybe our first Latino or Asian or Gay President will happen in my lifetime or in Isaac's. I have always envied the JFK generation, what it must have been like to be alive during that time. But now, we have our own hope that things can change. Maybe we can stop burning out our planet or being afraid of our neighbors or being at war or our financial wellbeing. It gives me something to pray for...

Things they are a changin'

2008-11-03T21:39:00.000-08:00

Isaac is really developing a great personality. He's a pretty laid back and easy going kid, unless he is tired. He's very curious and determined which has him developing a little faster than most kids his age. He's crawling on his belly and starting to use his legs to propel himself forward. He loves to stand, with our support and is great at sitting up by himself. Thankfully he has his fried Ceclia, who is a month older, and cousin Aaron to keep him motivated to keep up. He's proving to be as active as he was my belly. I will need to get in much better shape to keep up with this kid. He loves to smile and laugh...not surprising he is a pretty social kid. Though he does well playing alone too.

I really hope we don't screw this kid up!!!

He's sleeping really well right now, though I would love it if he would wake up at 7 instead of 6 every morning. During the week I really need that extra hour before he gets up so that I can get organized and ready for my day. I am having to learn how to be more disciplined about going to bed at 10pm and not 12 am, just to feel a bit rested. I'm tired of just being ready to collapse mentally and physically at then end of each day. Going back to work has proven to be a bit challenging, but all in all things are coming together. Especially since I have just been back to work a month. It is a bigger transition than I realized. I have been given a bit more responsibility by my bosses and have moved over to sales engineer. Which means that I will be callig on electrical contractors, and dealing with their issues. Should be interesting, especially given the current state of our economy and our nation.

Wow! I really am too tired. On that note here is te link to the October pictures on Shutterfly http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0CZtmLlw2bMXxQ .

Sweet dreams to all!

Isaac's First Halloween

2008-11-03T20:53:00.000-08:00

Halloween has come and gone already!?! This year is just zipping by...what else is new? We made a trip down to San Luis Obispo to visit Aunt Reen and Uncle Mike so that we could start the festivities off right. Aunt Reenie, Isaac and I made a trip to the local pumpkin patch and he got to choose his first punkin (with a little help from mom). He also gave them a sneak preview of his costume. It was such a great visit. I hope to make it an annual pilgrimage.

The Saturday before Halloween we attended the Piedmont Ave parade with Jonah, Shefa and Bob the Builder(aka Aaron). Finally, on Halloween we went to my office for a spooky party with all of my co-workers. Thre were some great costumes, who knew engineers were such a creative bunch? Isaac was a big hit as the littlest ninja. Then we joined our Mom's Group friends for a parade in Montclair. A very FULL day.

Simon Lev: A Story

2008-10-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

If you have not taken a moment to read our friend Simon's blog please start with this story, it is absolutely beautiful. Simon is 5 days older than Isaac and has spent the last couple of months at Children's Hospital in Oakland with a heart condition. He is a sweet and special little boy with two beautiful moms. We feel blessed to know them. Their blog is so touching...

Simon Lev: A Story

Ella

2008-10-21T23:10:00.000-07:00

Isaac with Ella and Maya

We are so lucky to have found an amazing woman to care for Isaac while we are working. Ella is from Eritrea in Northeast Africa and has been in the US for 26 years. She greets us every morning with a huge smile and big hugs and kisses for our son. She spends the day playing on his level and encouraging him to learn about the world around him. She is patient and loving and I most importantly, I trust her. As a first time mom, being able to have peace of mind that my son is being cared for by the best possible person is incredibly important. She adores our son as if he was her own. I couldn't ask for a better person for him to spend his days with.

Changing Seasons

2008-10-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

Fall is here! This has always been one of my favorite seasons. I love the crispness in the air and the smell of the leaves as they change. It also reminds me of fresh starts, like the first day of school. This fall has been even more special because it marked Isaac's 6th month birthday and my return to work.

In addition, the fall brings the close of the Jewish year. This years High Holy Day services were more meaningful to me because I got to share them with Isaac for the first time. We attended both Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur services at Chomat with Shefa and Aaron. I found myself moved to tears several times as we prayed, sang and danced together. Isaac even wore my tallis for a short while and played with the tzitzit. This brought back very moving memories of me by my father's side during services and wrapping the corner of his tallis around my shoulder and running the tzitzit through my fingers as I tried to amuse myself and be as close to him as possible as a child.

Isaac continues to change on almost a daily basis. After a few weeks of practicing today he remembered that he could sit up on his own and proceeded to show off his new skill several times this evening. One thing that I recognize about my son is that once he does something new, like rolling over or sitting up, he takes a couple week break and then one day decides that he's ready to do it all of the time.

We have an appointment next week with a plastic surgeon to discuss his bump and make a decision if and when it should be removed. I'm a bit nervous about the pain that it might cause him. However, in the end I am sure it will be okay.

I will post more soon... I promise :)

Morning Lessons

2008-10-01T23:09:00.001-07:00

This morning I got up early to get a shower in and a little work done before Isaac woke up. I have figured out that being a working mom means very looooong days, made up of lots of tasks to juggle. I always felt hard pressed to get myself out of the house on time, but now there are two of us to organize. In addition, tomorrow Marc gets the privilege of getting Isaac to Ella so that I can make an early meeting in the city. Which has meant that I needed to get as much organized for him as possible. WAIT!!! How did I become the expert on only my second day of work trying to coordinate this transition???

Anyway, after my shower I discovered that Isaac was already up and starting to complain that he's still in his crib and getting hungry. I get him changed and dressed for the day and then set up his play area in the living room. Once he's settled, lying on his back and playing with his toys, I start to tick off the mental list of things to do in my brain and try to get a few things accomplished while he plays by himself. After a couple of minutes I realize that he's being VERY quite in there and peek around the corner to see what he's up to. To my surprise I find him sitting up playing with a toy... SITTING UP?!? Yep, just sitting there, looking more like a little boy and less like my baby. We've been practicing sitting up for the last week or so, but today was the first time that he sat himself up from a prone position. I called Marc over. He and I oohed and ahhhed over the advanced progress of our little boy. And then a voice in my head said, "wait... don't grow up too fast... I want you to stay small... my baby... time is going by so quickly."

Ooooo we're in trouble now!!!

2008-09-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

Check out our little boy on the move...

Guess it is time to childproof the house!

Bump

2008-09-26T12:36:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update on Isaac's bump. We saw the pediatric dermatologist who took a look and deemed it benign. However, she said that it should be removed, not only because it would draw questions from other children as he grew older, but because it may continue to grow and may cause him physical discomfort. Good enough reasons for me. We are going to see a plastic surgeon and schedule its removal sometime between 12 and 18 months of age. I will miss this special part of Isaac, it is unique, but unnecessary.

I also have to say, this little guy is quite the charmer, he will smile at anyone weather they are paying attention to him or not. The nurses and doctor kept commenting on his smiley personality... one nurse threatened to keep him. Back off lady and take a step away from my baby :)

Five Months Old!

2008-09-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

On September 14th our little boy turned 5 months old. Time has gone by so quickly...unbelieveably so. The whole month of September has been a blur and next week I start back to work...what?!? It seems that since Isaac's birth there has been one new visit, milestone, or trip that has marked time right up to this moment. We've spent the last five months looking forward to the next thing until we ran out of things to look forward to. Now my time has drawn to a close and on Monday morning I drop him off with Ella, his nanny, to spend his days playing with her and Maya, the little girl he is doing the nanny share with. To say that I am going to miss our days together is an understatement. I don't think I can comprehend what a change this will be...just like every other part of motherhood so far.

This past month has been full of so many new experiences for Isaac:
His first plane trip
His first trip to Asheville
His first time meeting all of our friends in NC
His first time on the Blue Ridge Parkway
His first time driving through three states: GA, SC and NC
His first sip of water out of a glass
His first taste of sweet potato
His first taste of avacado
His first taste of peas
His first time staying with Ella
His first trip to VA
Attending his first and second wedding
His first time in a pool

I'm sure there are more...those are just off of the top of my head.

I have taken a ton of pictures and they are loaded on shutterfly.

New Milestones

2008-08-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note... Isaac rolled over from his stomach to his back twice today. He also is doing this great airplane imitation with his arms and legs off of the floor while he balances on his stomach. Aaaannnd...pulling his knees up under himself and rocking on his elbows. This kid is going to be moblie before we know it. I will try to get some pictures and or video this week.

We are begining the countdown to Isaac's first trip to Asheville and our dear friends Cassie and Jim's wedding. I am so excited to get back to the mountains and see our friends and family in NC. I'll be curious to see how Isaac takes to traveling... I hope that he will enjoy it.

More pictures soon...

Playing catch up...

2008-08-18T21:57:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my lack of blogs for the past month... I have been so busy with Isaac and life in general that it has been difficult for me to do much more than collapse at the end of the day. What will life be like when I go back to work?!?! That is the question that looms over me now. Thankfully I have 6 more weeks to figure that one out...

There is so much new to report that I am not sure where to start. So, here are some of the highlights in no particular order:

Isaac is now rolling over from his back to his stomach. So much so that we thought we were going to have to duct tap him to his mattress because he kept waking himself up rolling around in his crib. We took the fabric bumper out but have been rethinking that move because he sometimes gets his limbs caught in the rails. The picture below is of the first time he rolled over in his sleep...

Marc's twin brother Evan came for a 2 week visit. The testosterone level in the house was almost unbearable, thankfully the never ending comedy that is the Lao brothers made things a bit better. Ev and Isaac really bonded and Ev dubbed him "Isaac the Giant". Which still makes Isaac giggle...

My Father and Step-Mother came for a visit also and we had a very lovely time with them. Isaac and my Dad bonded over horsey rides on his Zadie's knee:

Isaac went to two museums this month. We saw the Frida Kahlo exhibit at SF MOMA and The Contemporary Jewish Museum in San Francisco.

I joined a mother's group and met a wonderful group of women and their sweet babies. Isaac is the second oldest of the group. Cecelia is a month older than him. Then there are Maya and Leo who are a month younger. The two other boys, Niko and Oliver are 9 weeks old, and then there is Tula who is now 8 weeks.

Isaac is now about 15 lbs and 26" long. He's getting the cutest little rolls on his upper thighs. It is looking like he has brown eyes...but they are still changing color. He loves to smile and giggle...especially when I sing to him.

Naps during the day are still challenging. He likes to take 30-40 minute naps every hour and a half to two hours. I have spent many hours reading a number of books about infants and sleep and realized that this is just how he rolls and have given up the idea that he will take two loooong naps. He may grow in to that at a later date but I am not holding my breath.

Lastly...our little boy is now sleeping through the night. We start his bedtime routine around 6 each night. First Isaac gets dinner (courtesy of mom) then Marc gives him a bath and I give him a little massage and put on his jammies. Then we rock and I sing him a lullaby (usually "Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon). Generally he's bee sleeping for 8 hours, briefly waking to nurse, and then waking up again about 3 hours later. He then comes to bed with me and we wake up for the day around 8 or 9...I will really miss this dozy time together when I go back to work. It really is the sweetest way to wake up.

Growing Aaron: "Hey, when's this baby gonna be ready to play with me?"

2008-07-19T16:56:00.000-07:00

I love this clip of my nephew Aaron with Isaac...

Growing Aaron: "Hey, when's this baby gonna be ready to play with me?"#links

I love being a Mom when...

2008-07-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

I had to post this picture of Isaac which I believe is from the 4th of July. Lately he and I have been having these amazing conversations where I chat to him about different topics and he just laughs, smiles, goos and gaaaahs back at me, and gives me the occasional raspberry. Some times I will sing him a song and it seems like he tries to sing along...or is laughing at my poor pitch and tone. These are some of my most precious moments with him. I love this intense one on one connection we share. It is like nothing else I have ever experienced.

Isaac's First Camping Trip

2008-07-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

The gang hanging out in Hendy Woods

We were supposed to go on our first camping trip at Hendy Woods in Mendocino County, CA. However, because of the wildfires north of that area, we decided to just make it a day trip to join our friends to celebrate Andy, Susi, and Agnes' birthdays. We had a great time hiking and hanging out with our friends. Isaac seemed to love being in nature (he did not get this trait from his father) and hiked with me among the GIANT Redwoods. It reminded me how much I used to love the hikes I used to take in Pisgah Forest in NC. So, I have been inspired to try to do one hike a week here in the Bay Area. There are so many beautiful spots to explore around here. I have recently made a new friend who is going to teach me how to sea kayak. It's about time I take advantage of and teach my son to appreciate and explore the natural beauty here.

Gabrielle (about 20 wks pregnant) and Isaac

Phil and Tim

Birthday Girl Agnes

Alicia (14 weeks pregnant) and Isaac...he loves pregnant women

Isaac at play

2008-07-05T10:46:00.000-07:00

Isaac is really enjoying his play mat these days...check him out!

Growing Boy!

2008-06-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

Look how much our little boy has grown!

Isaac one week old

Isaac 10 weeks old

He had his 2 month check up today and was 24 1/4" long and weighed 12 lbs 10 oz. Which means that he as grown 5" and gained almost 5 lbs since he was born. Wow...they get big so quickly!!

His Aunt Donna was here for a visit this past week and we had a very good time catching up. She got to do what she's been dying to do...hug, kiss, and hold Isaac for hours on end. I have to express how grateful I was to have her here. She has always been a roll model for me and it made me feel good to know that she felt like I was doing a good job with Isaac. As a new mom it is nice to get all the positive reinforcement possible. It is easy to get overwhelmed and not be sure that you are doing a good enough job.

Another piece of news...I will be staying home for 12 more weeks. I am not ready to go back to work and give up this precious time with Isaac. He is still so small and to turn him over to some one else to care for feels like I am going to miss out on too much important growth and change. Marc and I went back and forth about the decision and finally concluded that it would be better for me to stay home a bit longer. I wish it could be his whole first year, but am very happy to be able to spend his first 6 months at home with him.

I have added a new album to Shutterfly...enjoy!

I miss you Dad!

2008-06-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

I promised Marc that I would post pictures of Isaac for him while he was traveling on business this week. Every one keeps telling me how much he looks like Marc. I am hoping to get a baby picture of him some time soon so that I can post it for comparison. Marc said that Isaac got my earlobes...gurrrr.

Our next wave of family visits started yesterday. Granny and Grandpa Herriman (my Mom and Step-Dad) arrived for a quick visit on their way up to their property in Yreka, CA. Today my sister-in-law Donna Harter arrived from Waynesville, NC for a week long visit. I feel so blessed to have her here. It makes me a little homesick for the mountains though...

Around the time of Isaac's birth my father announced that he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer. They caught it early but it required immediate surgery. I am glad to report that his surgery was a success and he is recuperating nicely at home. The Dr. said that they got 100% of the cancer...which is what we all wanted to hear. Unfortunately Arlene's back has gone out which will apparently keep her out of commission most of the summer. A bad way to spend your summer vacation. Our prayers go out to both of them for speedy recoveries.

Today we were excited to find our that our close friends Andy and Alicia are pregnant and due January 6th...just a few days before my birthday. Isaac with soon have another friend to play with here in the hood!

That is all of our news for today...

Two whole months old!!!

2008-06-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

Where has the time gone????? I really cannot believe that Isaac was born 8 weeks ago today...56 days completely entranced by this our boy. He has changed so much already and I love seeing the new things that he learns each day. He's smiling every day an reciprocates when you smile and talk to him. He is making sounds like aaaahhhh, aooooaooo, ooooohhhh, and maaaaaahhh and I am able to distinguish 4 different cries.
One is more of him going gaaaah, gaaahh at increasing intensity, which means please come here I'm lonely. I usually hear this in protest to being left alone while he is in his swing, bouncy seat, boppy or bassinet for longer than a couple of moments. There is the more urgent mmmmaaah, mmmaaaaaaaaah, which means that he's hungry and I'm not getting his food to him fast enough. It's close cousin is the full on aaaaaaaahhhhh, maaahh screech which tells me that he is over tired and I'm in for a couple of hours of nursing, dozing, and crying before he finally crashes. Lastly, there is the full on blood curtling, skin crawling, yawell, which makes your heart break and has no discernable cause or cure.
He is reaching for objects overhead and will hold the edge of my top while he nurses. Which is really the sweetest thing. He is still sleeping quite a bit, but does take longer naps now. I consistantly get a 4-5 hour stretch each night followed by two hour stretches, which allow us to slowly wake up. We have been taking walks in our stroller which knocks Isaac out in a matter of minutes. He slept in it for two hours on Saturday as we walked around Sausalito and enjoyed the warm day by the bay.

Next Monday Marc and I will celebrate our one year anniversary...what a wild year this has been!

I have added pictures to Shutterfly...

Our little boy...

2008-06-04T22:14:00.000-07:00

Isaac is growing so quickly. I swear I put him to bed and the next morning he is so much bigger. I started to feel axious that I wasn't going to remember how he looked when he was this small. I used my cell phone to capture a few of my favorite features while he napped. These are the parts that I can gaze at for hours.

Hard to believe...

2008-06-04T21:57:00.000-07:00

Cousinly Love...

2008-05-22T20:45:00.000-07:00

Isn't this the cutest thing you've ever seen???

Aaron hugging on "Baby" (aka: Isaac)

Isaac's Bradley Birth Class Reunion

2008-05-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

We had a lovely brunch at our house on Sunday with the other members of our birth class. It was nice to finally get together and talk about being new parents as well as our birth experiences. Sabrina and Matt brought their beautiful daughter Cassidy (born May 8th) and Monica and Jean brought handsome Philip (born March 23rd). We've decided to get together once a month so that we can stay caught up with each other and see how the kids are growing up.

Monica and I are considering doing a nanny share together and are currently interviewing potential candidates. I am excited about the boys being able to be together and in a more one on one care environment.

Monica and Isaac hanging out

Our boys!

Sweet Cassidy

I have posted some new pictures on Shutterfly.

One Month Old Already?!?

2008-05-12T10:35:00.001-07:00

Our little boy is a month old already! This evening we are returning to our Bradley instructors home to tell Isaac's birth story to a group of expectant parents. What a wonderful way to commemorate his first month. I asked Shefa to upload his birth video to the share drive so that I could watch it for the first time this evening before we go.

I am really looking forward to seeing his arrival for the first time. A good majority of that day is a blur. However, those last couple of hours as I began to push are the clearest memories that I have. I remember the Dr. telling me that his heart rate was concerning her and that I needed to get him out in the next couple of pushes or they would have to do a vacuum extraction. I worked hard to get him out in the next couple of contractions. Because there was meconium in the amniotic fluid they had to suction his mouth and nose out as soon as his head appeared. Once the Dr. gave me the okay to push again he was out and on my chest. The only word that I can find to describe that moment is STUNNING. After all of those months imagining my little boy, there he was on my chest. I was able to see his wonderous face for the first time and it was more than my brain could take in for a minute. I still look at him with the same sense of awe and study his face every day... I really cannot get enough of him.

This month has had some challenges but over all it has been an amazing experience. We have been blessed with a miracle of a little boy and I love him immeasurably. He has become my teacher andI learn more and more about him and myself every day. Right now he is swaddled and in his vibrating bouncer sleeping so soundly. Marc keeps threatening to eat him up because he looks like a little morsal. I have to say that I am very impressed with the kind of Dad he is turning into. He is very loving with Isaac and I can see how much joy he gets from him.

I am posting the last month's pictures on shutterfly... enjoy!

The Third Week

2008-05-07T13:21:00.001-07:00

Today is our first day really on our own. Marc's Mom headed back to Florida today and it will be another month before we have house guests again. I have to admit that I was really looking forward to having this time to get us in a routine, but now I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the enormity of being the only one here to take care of Isaac while Marc is at work. I feel like a newbie again and it is a little scary. Like every other experience that I have had so far being a new Mom it will take some time to adjust. I also have to remember that I have people I can call for support and my family is right downstairs.

This past week we hit a couple of new milestones. First was Marc's Birthday on May 1st, he's joined me in the 38 year club. Since he was away on business Isaac and I made him a special birthday card and emailed it to him.

We have discovered that Isaac likes to do imitations of celebrities... well one in particular, Bill Cosby. Aaron used to make a similar face when he was this age and it always cracked me up.

Isaac is also a very strong little boy. He can already pick up his head while he's on his stomach and turn it from side to side. He doesn't like to sleep on his back, his wild arms tend to wake him up. I've tried swaddling him but he ends up kicking off the wrap. So, we've resorted to letting him sleep on his stomach. This is a big SIDS no no, but according to the research I've done as long as he is strong enough to move his head he should be okay. It has made me a bit paranoid, but the wisdom when I was a baby was to put children on their stomach... I survived obviously.

Isaac also had his first bath in his tub this past week. You'll notice the brown stain around his belly button, which was caused by medication that he had to have applied to allow it to heal up.

Here are a few more pictures from this past week...

Sleepy Mommy

2 weeks already?!?

2008-04-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

Isaac one day old

Hard to believe but 2 weeks ago today I went into labor. The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of family, religious rituals (the bris), breastfeeding and diaper changes. Isaac has an actual bellybutton now. He likes swinging in his papasan swing and listening to music in the mornings. So far he really likes salsa, afro-cuban, 70's funk, blues, jazz, R&B, and a little rap.

Isaac 4/24/08

He went on his first outing to San Fran on Thursday. We had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory in Macy's at Union Square with Zadie, Bubbie, Abuela and Aunt Hannah. And then joined Uncle Jonah at the Asian Art Museum to see an exhibit called Drama and Desire. Friday night we went out for Thai food with our cousins Reva, Ben and Emma at Grand Avenue Thai, a new neighborhood favorite. Saturday Isaac and I walked down to the playground to join Aunt Shefa, Uncle Jonah and Aaron and then walked around the Oakland Farmer's Market.

We even tried out the moby wrap for the first time and our little boy was in HEAVEN! He snuggled up and slept so well. It was like being pregnant again but even better because I could look down at him and his precious face. We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing in the back yard. Isaac wrapped in the moby and Mom catching up on some reading. It was such a peaceful experience...

I love being a Mom...it is like the whole world is new again.

What you have really been waiting for....

2008-04-25T17:20:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the world Isaac Andres Lao!

2008-04-25T12:28:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that 11 days have passed since Isaac made his entrance into this world. People kept saying to me, "treasure every moment, they will go by so quickly". They were not kidding! I wanted to share with you the story of Isaac's arrival, it really was an amazing 48 hours for us. My sister-in-law Shefa was there for most of my labor and wrote his birth story...

The Birth of Isaac Andrés Laó

Sunday, April 13, 2008

2pm: Since Jonah and I moved in this summer, our families have been slowly moving towards the goal of clearing out and organizing the storage space in the garage. With Isaac’s arrival growing imminent, we finally worked together to clear out an enormous amount of unneeded baggage left from previous tenants – essentially making space in the underbelly of our home for a new phase of life. Aaron was elated with all the discoveries the garage unearthed – bicycle helmets and hard hats to try on, brooms to sweep with, and toys he hadn’t seen since he was “little”!

6pm : After a long afternoon of hard work, we decided to celebrate with a sushi dinner at home. Little did we know we were commemorating our last evening at home before our newest family member would arrive! After I put Aaron to bed, Elisa and I headed down the street to pick up dinner from Coach Sushi, while Jonah cleaned up and Marc finished the last details of the garage. During our drive, Elisa mentioned that she had been having some contractions that seemed to be getting stronger. Since she had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions, she was skeptical, but these seemed to be a little different than what she had experienced before.

When we returned home with the food, Elisa went to the bathroom and noticed a large clot. I saw her come out of the bathroom and she said she thought her mucous plug just came out! She went outside to tell Marc while I told Jonah. The plug can come out weeks before labor, so we weren’t sure what this meant exactly, except that Elisa and Marc were one step closer to bringing Isaac into the world!

Elisa called her doctor to check in about this new occurrence. He asked that she come in to the hospital to be checked out just to be safe. We overheard Elisa asking, “Is it OK if I finish dinner first?” As we ate dinner and chatted, we timed her contractions, and noticed that they were “disorganized”, meaning the gaps between varied between 4 and 10 minutes. Based on this, we figured it wasn’t actually labor yet. We had an unrushed dinner and afterwards,

7:30pm: Elisa and Marc changed clothes and headed to the hospital. Before leaving, Elisa commented that while she was glad she was getting checked out, she felt pretty sure it was unnecessary and they would send her back home.

9pm : I get a call that the hospital confirmed that she was in early labor and had noticed that she was registering slightly high blood pressure, so they wanted to wait for some blood tests before deciding whether she could continue labor at home or not.

11:30pm : I get a call that although Elisa’s blood pressure was fine, the hospital wanted to keep her for observation. They asked me to join them in the morning so that I could get some sleep and be the one rested person of the team if necessary.

Monday, April 14, 2008

6am : When I wake up, I immediately call to check in. Elisa and Marc are both doing fine, although neither of them slept much. They have me pack a bag to bring to the hospital for them. It was five days before Elisa’s due date, and although Marc and Elisa had, at times, predicted that he would arrive early, a hospital bag was something on their list that they hadn’t gotten to yet!

9:30am : I arrive at the hospital. They are in Room 23 on the 3^rd floor of Alta Bates in Berkeley. When I entered, the room was very calm and the lights were low. Elisa is in the bathroom and Marc is lying on the couch awake. Because he was cold earlier, he has tied a blanket around his shoulders that makes him look like a super hero. Elisa comes out of the bathroom looking very calm for a woman who has been laboring all night. The nurse and the doctor both comment this morning on how amazingly strong Elisa is and how well she is handling labor.

Their nurse on this shift is named Joanne. I find out that Elisa was 7 cm dilated at an earlier exam, the baby’s heartbeat is running a little fast at times (tachycardia), and Elisa has a wireless belt around her waist that tracks the baby’s heartbeat. Elisa’s labor position at this time is standing while leaning on a birthing ball on the bed. Joanne suggests she imagine crouching like a sumo wrestler while contracting. Elisa is having body shakes with her contractions. At Joanne’s suggestion, we start giving Elisa watered-down Gatorade to replenish electrolytes.

10:30am : The doctor does a cervical exam and discovers that Elisa hasn’t dilated much more in the past three hours and suggests breaking her water. Elisa and Marc agree, the doctor breaks her water, and contractions begin getting harder. At this point Elisa moves into the transition stage of labor and gets very internally focused. Elisa labors for a while in a side lying position.

11am: Elisa switches to a child's-pose position on the bed.

11:30am: Elisa moves to a standing position leaning over the bed.

12noon: Elisa begins to get sick to her stomach and she feels relief after emptying her stomach a couple of times. Joanne is concerned that fluids aren’t able to be digested, and dehydration can raise the baby’s heartbeat.

12:30pm: Elisa moves to a labor position at the end of the bed, supported by a birthing ball. Marc and I take turns doing massage for Elisa during her contractions.

12:45pm: The doctor comes in to say she is going into a surgery and will check back in afterwards to see if progress has been made and if not, pitocin may need to be considered.

1:30pm: Elisa moves to a standing position supported by a birthing ball on the bed. The doctor, whose surgery was delayed, does a cervical exam while Elisa is standing during a contraction and finds that she is only at 8cm. She suggests a small amount of pitocin is suggested, which would mean putting Elisa on an IV. The IV would also be able to replenish fluids, which would be helpful for Elisa’s exhaustion and the baby’s heartbeat. After deliberation, Elisa and Marc decide to proceed with the pitocin.

1:50pm : A very small amount of pitocin is administered. Elisa’s contractions already seem to be getting stronger before the pitocin is added. Elisa is seemed extremely tired at this point but she is doing an amazing job of working with each contraction.

2pm: Joanne helps Elisa and Marc get set up with the IV in the bathroom so that Elisa can labor in the shower. Elisa sits on a birthing ball in the tub initially and Marc sprays water on her back. Elisa is doing a great job getting through long, strong contractions. Marc is completely grounded, present, and committed to staying with Elisa every step of the way.

3:15pm: Elisa gets out of the tub and labor on a ball at the end of the bed.

3:30pm: The doctor returns and does another exam that shows that Elisa is still at 8, maybe 8 ½ cm dilated. She suggests an epidural and says that this often will immediately open the cervix the rest of the way. They are supportive of continuing to labor without an epidural, but warn that doing so may be futile, and what’s worse, may exhaust Elisa and Isaac to the point that an emergency Cesarean would be needed. At this point Elisa hasn’t slept for 32 hours.

3:45pm : After deliberation, Elisa and Marc make an informed decision with a great amount of integrity to agree to the epidural. Elisa had labored beautifully for 20 hours and had made a huge amount of progress on her own. A small amount of pain medicine is introduced into the IV while they wait for the anaesthetician.

4pm: The anaesthetician arrives. Since only one guest is allowed in the room at a time, I leave while he gives the epidural.

4:45pm: When I return to the room, Elisa is already beginning to look relaxed. The doctor suggests that Elisa take a nap while labor continues, so that she will have a little energy for the pushing stage.

5:15pm: Nurse Joanne ends her shift and is replaced by Ashley. Ashley puts in a catheter. The doctor checks Elisa and says that she is already fully dilated and can begin pushing at any time. Elisa decides to wait half an hour so she can rest.

5:30pm: Elisa is resting and Marc is making a few phone calls. I sit with Elisa and sing to call in the angels and sing the Shema with her. I bless her and call in all her ancestors, family and friends to support her in readying for the next stage of labor.

5:45pm: Both Elisa and Marc are sound asleep and snoring. Thank God for epidurals!

6:30pm: Everyone is awake and Ashley shows us the pattern for pushing – at each contraction, Marc and I hold her legs up, Elisa grabs behind her knees, takes a deep breath and holds it like she’s diving underwater and bears down. She does this 3 to 4 times each contraction, trying to inhale quickly and bear down again before Isaac loses the ground she’s trying to gain for him. We are all in a good mood and Elisa comments how much easier pushing with an epidural is compared to the labor she was in earlier.

Elisa rests in between contractions. She looks really beautiful and peaceful.

6:45pm: Ashley takes a break and another nurse relieves her for a little while. This nurse shows Elisa how to labor in a sidelying position.

7pm: The new doctor on shift comes in to introduce herself.

7:15pm: Ashley comes back. As Elisa contracts, the nurse stretches her perineum and I can see the top of Isaac’s head start to appear.

8:15pm: Pushing for over an hour now. Isaac is close enough for Marc and I to see a curl of his hair pushing out and remaining in view between contractions.

8:30pm: Something is happening with Isaac’s heart rate that seems to concern the nurse – his heart rate is dropping? The doctor is called, Ashley puts an oxygen mask on Elisa and she is asked to stop pushing during contractions. I hum the angel song to Elisa and I can hear her humming along.

8:35pm: The doctor arrives and begins helping move the baby during the contractions. She says that if the baby doesn’t come out soon, they will need to use a vacuum. Isaac’s is crowning! The doctor guides Elisa’s hand down so she can feel the top of Isaac’s head. Elisa makes the most wonderful sound of glee and we all start to get weepy. All the hard work she had done was now coming completely to fruition!

8:45pm: Isaac’s head pops out and they stop to suck out the meconium before he can be born and take his first breath.

8:52pm: Isaac is born! He’s immediately put on Elisa’s chest. He’s born without any interventions!

9:05pm Isaac is taken to the warming table to be checked out and Marc goes with him. Isaac is 7 pounds, 11 ounces. I stay with Elisa while she births the placenta. The doctor finds that there was very little tearing.

9:10pm: The doctor sews Elisa up while Isaac is brought back to her. Isaac sinks into his Mama’s body and looks around with big eyes. Elisa moves Isaac closer to her breast and Isaac eyes the nipple like he’s trying to will himself over to it. Everyone starts leaving the room except for the nurse.

9:15pm: Isaac finds the nipple for the first time! Good job, little baby!

9:30pm: The new family is given time alone to enjoy each other. Phone calls are made to the new grandparents.

10pm: I drop off a celebratory meal from Whole Foods – chicken wings, macaroni and cheese, and potato wedges! We try to rouse Isaac from the nipple for a family photo, but he lets out a yell of protest that makes his preferences very clear. I head home, leaving the happy family to their first night together.

Welcome Isaac!!

I LOVE this artist!

2008-04-13T11:49:00.000-07:00

My friend Leahe sent me this GORGEOUS card and I had to share it. It embodies how I have felt through most of my pregnancy. Thank you Leahe!

If you want to see more of this artist check out http://www.masha.com/. There are a couple of onsies and t-shrits that I may order in the near future.

I loved this card too...

Where has my motivation gone?!?

2008-04-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

I feel a bit like I have senioritis, you know that feeling of I am about to graduate and that is all that matters right now, so forget any tests or homework assignments at this point. What does it matter?? I am about to graduate! Except that I am not graduating from high school but from this ten month period called pregnancy and instead of going off to college I will be joining the school of parenthood. I have a short list of things to finish for work and this week is my last before going on maternity leave! I have a little longer list of things that I would like to get done before Isaac arrives.

However, my motivation level is sooooo low right now. I feel like I am curling in on myself, kind of like he is curled up in my belly, resting up for the big day. I don't even really have the capacity to be that social right now. Which for me is saying something! So, I am trying to muster up what ever I have left to finish up these projects so that I can really just let go and rest until he arrives. Or just come to accept the fact that they won't get done and be okay with that too.

Marc and I had a date night last night and it was good to get out and spend some time talking about us and life before and after baby. It was interesting to find out that he's going through a similar process to mentally prepare for being father. We have both been trying to focus on the positive things that we learned and experienced from our childhoods so that we can share similar experiences with our son. We're both nervous about the kind of parents we will be and what those first weeks will look like. Only time will tell, but I think we will be better versions of ourselves in the end.

Today is day 5 before my due date. I had a lot of braxton hix contractions yesterday and it feels like he is a lot lower in my pelvis. Other than that I have all of the normal complaints of the last couple of weeks of pregnancy. I'm just trying to stay as positive as possible and not get stuck in the last trimester BLAHS!

Counting Down to "D" Day

2008-04-10T10:14:00.000-07:00

I was thinking yesterday that now that I am in my 39th week, and Isaac could decide to come any day now, it would be a good idea to post brief daily updates so that if people were curious as to how things were progressing with the pregnancy they could check in here. So, starting today, look for daily updates.

I did go to the Dr. on Wednesday for a check up and everything is going fine. BP is good, he has a strong heartbeat, his head is down, and right now he is in the occiput posterior (OP) position. This means that he could be born facing up rather than down. I'm doing some recommended

exercises to try to encourage him to turn, we'll see how that goes. He seems pretty snug in there. It is possible that he will turn during delivery also so I'm not going to worry about that right now. Dr. Thomas did do a quick ultrasound and I got to see his face, but it was really hard to make details out. She had to point out twice where his eyes, nose and mouth were. I eventually realized that since he is upside down the orientation was making it hard for me to recognize body part. Thinking about his little face on the drive home made me a little emotional and I cried a little thinking about how excited I am to meet and hold him.

When I got home I found Aaron and Shefa in the back yard playing so I hung out with them and sunned my belly. Shefa caught this great picture of Aaron trying to figure out where my bellybutton was.

He's so much fun and wicked smart. We got a chance to hang out together, just the two of us, and play until Jonah got home. We haven't had much one on one time lately and I really enjoyed dancing to Adam and the Ants and playing cars with him.

Winding down...

2008-04-06T21:53:00.001-07:00

Well I am 38 weeks pregnant now and it is just a matter of time before I will be at home with an infant to care for 24 / 7. This weekend it began to dawn on me I needed to to start mentally preparing for this new role. A month or more ago I received a book from my Dad called "Mothering The New Mother" by Sally Placksin and I highly recommend it. The book covers all aspects of the postpartum experience and seems to be an honest guide about the highs and the lows that can be expected. It was nice to get some insight into just how HUGE a change we are about to experience and some tools to help with the transition.

I have always been a pretty independent person who has taken on most challenges and figured things out by myself. Learning to ask for help or accepting it has been challenging to me. I am vowing to myself right now to (these are in no particular order):
1. Ask for help and for what I need.
2. Establish a support group of other mothers.
3. Allow other people to take care of me.
4. Make space for Marc and I to bond with our son.

Marc is leaving for a business trip tomorrow, which made me nervous at first. I realized today that this is really my last chance to have some alone time. I do not believe that Isaac will come early, though I do have a back up plan just in case. In the meanwhile, I am going to take this opportunity to do some things that I want to do and to find a peaceful space for myself.

Help Support baby Ben and CF

2008-04-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

This little boy's story really touched me. He is the son of a friend and I really wanted to do something to help out. Please read the note from my friend Michelle below and contribute if you feel so moved...

As some of you know (and some of you may not), a very close friend of mine had a beautiful baby boy, Benjamin Anthony Pannecouck, on March 10. After surgery and testing, Ben was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis and is currently in the hospital, getting stronger and stronger with everyday. You can see pictures and read more about Ben on the link below.http://benjaminanthony.blogspot.com/

In support of research and an eventual cure for this disease, please help me reach my goal in my CF walk in San Francisco on May 3rd, and hopefully surpass it by donating whatever you can. Every little bit helps. For more information on CF and to donate easily, please go to the following link:http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/MichellePlattIf you are interested in donating and do not prefer donating online, please respond to this email and I will contact you. If you know of anyone else who would like to donate, please pass this on. The more awareness, the closer we can come to a cure.

Thank you for your donations and support, it truly means the world to little B

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK...

2008-03-30T22:44:00.000-07:00

I am officially nearing the end of this pregnancy. I hit 37 weeks on Friday, which means that I am full term . If I were to have Isaac now he would be happy and healthy. We are out of the woods to a certain extent and have hit yet another milestone. The next one is BIRTH! I have to say, I am really going to miss looking down and seeing my baby bump.

Beginning the day that I found out I was pregnant, I have nurtured, caressed and loved this belly in such a new way. Before that discovery I would look at my little round pudge of a tummy and try to figure out which diet or type of exercised could make it finally flatten out. Now I see it in a whole new light. It is Isaac's protection, his home, it has stretched to accommodate his growth. I love watching it undulate with his movements. To feel his back push out beneath my hand as I rub my side, like he enjoys my massages. Soon this safe barrier will be gone and I will be able to hold him in my arms. He will not be protected in the same way that he has been. Marc and I will have to provide that safe haven for him in our home.

I have three weeks until my due date and there are a few things that are left to be done... the list is much shorter though. I am officially working from home starting next Monday and then my last day of work will be April 18th, my due date... if I go that long. Marc has started saying that he thinks that I will go into labor early. I am not as sure... He is definitely head down and at times it feels like he is burrowing into my pelvis. I have just recently been noticing Braxton Hix contractions. As anxious as I am to meet him, I really want to savor these next few weeks before I become a mom. Maybe I'll even get that prenatal massage I have been threatening to book for the last few months!

Suess Shower

2008-03-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

I have to give HUGE props to my sister-in-law Shefa and my friends Lea R. and Lea S. for the most AMAZING baby shower. I really could not have imagined a more perfect event... The two Lea's creativity is inspiring. I am also so incredibly grateful for my friends and family who made this shower so meaningful for me.

For those who attended in spirit, I wanted to share these pictures from the party with you.

Lea R. made an amazing spread, showing off her skills as cater (she also performs a mean wedding ceremony folks!)

Lea S. setting up the party favors for the guests...
Everyone got a vase with a Seuss flower as well as a Dr. Seuss lollipop made my Lea R.

The guest mingling...

The mom-to-be throughly enjoying herself...

My Soap Box

2008-03-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

I warn you now, this is a hormone infused rant...read at your own risk.

As my pregnancy winds down I have found that my once thick skin has gotten a little thinner in places. It amazes me that people feel so free to offer their 2 cents about my body and what I should do when I give birth. Specifically the comments have centered around my decision to have natural child birth. I have lost count at the number of times people have told me that I have to have an epidural. One person this week actually told me that I wouldn't last an hour with out one! Surprisingly the majority of these comments have come from MEN!!! What the f... do they know about giving birth?!? I think some men should be seen and not heard at this stage of pregnancy... it is a world they know nothing about.

This week I have also been told or asked:

"Wow...you are as big as a house!" Umm... in a way I am temporary housing.

"Are you about to pop?"

"How much weight have you gained?" None ya

"Are you having twins?" Give me a break!!!

Lastly, I feel like I need a t-shirt that says...I'm due April 18th, it is my first pregnancy, it is a boy, and yes, we have picked out a name. I was actually asked the corresponding questions to these answers 28 times in one day. I know that people are curious and are trying to be courteous. I'm just getting tired of answering the same questions over and over... bitchy huh?

Okay... I'm done... for now!

Dooce... my blogging hero

2008-03-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

My friend Karen turned me on to this blog a couple of years ago and she has become by blogging hero/mentor. I love the honest way that she writes as well as her slightly twisted sense of humor. Now I especially appreciate the fact that she is a mother, with a slightly twisted sense of humor. For example...check out this link from her site.
http://www.dooce.com/2008/02/22/yeah-oops-one-too

Previous Bolg Effort...

2008-03-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

I started another blog while we were on our honeymoon in Maui. Rather than maintain two separate trains of thought I decided to just consolidate the two. So, here are some of my thoughts before becoming a mom was even a possibility in my head...

We've arrived in Maui and I think have found my favorite spot in the world. I know that there are a million other beautiful places on this planet, but for this minute, sitting on the lanai looking out over the calm blue ocean, listening to the birds chirping and cooing, a faint breeze grazing my shoulder...I am relaxed and content. I couldn't be happier with the B&B we chose, it is beautiful and serene. Besides my spot on the lanai I am really enjoying the outdoor shower. There are two papaya trees flanking the right and left side and I love watching the fruit ripen with each passing day. Marc and I have been taking each day at a time, not planning too much. Yesterday I took my first surfing lesson and had a BLAST! I'm thinking about trying it again while we are here or checking into lessons when I get back. The water was so warm, it made flopping off the board a lot more palatable. We've also been enjoying the convertible...so perfect for drives along the coast and capturing the breathtaking sunsets.

Time

2008-03-11T22:26:00.000-07:00

Time has moved so quickly since our wedding in June. We will have been parents for almost 2 months before we even reach our 1 year anniversary! Mind boggling... seriously. So, to put this in to a bit of perspective I put together a slide show to document the last nine months.

Enjoy!

Baby Music Poll

2008-03-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

I'm putting together an iTunes play list of music for Isaac and need some input. If you had to choose just three songs from any music genre to share with a child what would they be?

The Count Down Has Begun! 6...5...4...3...2...1

2008-03-09T17:01:00.000-07:00

I have to say that after going back and rereading my first post has really made it hit home how quickly this time being pregnant has passed. I'm in my last 6 weeks of this adventure and before I know it our son will be in my arms. Free of his snug, warm and safe cocoon. Out in this crazy mixed up world. I have more thoughts on that...but I'll save them for another rant, I mean post.

The process of being pregnant has been an interesting one. It took me a few months to get used to the idea that I was really pregnant, it doesn't sink in right away. About the time that I started to feel the baby move and I began feeling like a human being again (albeit a human with a dancing alien growing inside me) I really started to feel connected to this child. The 12 and 20 week ultrasounds gave me a peek at my progeny and the last one revealed that it was a boy. The whole experience was like making eye contact with a stranger across a crowded room. You remember a split second of connection and the rest is fiction and imagination. Unless you get one of the 4-D ultrasounds, where your child looks like yellow play dough, you are left with this x-ray image of your child. It is not easy to tell if he/she has their father's nose or mother's eyes. Trust me, I understand that this is still way more information than my parents ever had about me before I was born. I am grateful that I got to take a quick look at least.

My last 16 weeks have been spent talking to, playing music for, and enjoying the incredible undulations of this rapidly growing human being. I have logged more hours contemplating my belly button (from inny to outty to flatty) then I ever did in my entire life. My pipa (what my husband affectionately called my round pre preg tummy) was something that I was always self conscious of. Now I cannot get enough of my expanding midsection. I poke, prod, caress, and rub it trying to guess what body part may be moving under my skin. Some days I think it is his round little tush that I'm feeling, but it could be his head. The other day I swore I felt a foot right between where my rib used to be.... though it might have been a hand or an elbow.

So, as the count down continues I will log more time on here and try to document some of the highlights of the past few months before they are completely wiped from my memory by pregnancy hormones and sleep deprivation. I will also post a few new pictures as "the belly that ate Manhattan" continues to expand to ginormous proportions.

Nighty night!

Clear Blue...Pregnant?

2007-08-18T07:16:00.000-07:00

This story begins many many years ago. I don't know if I always wanted children in the same way that other women crave having a baby. I love them, don't get me wrong, but it was always a "if it happens, great!" kind of thing for me. I tried for a few years to get pregnant, during my first marriage, but was told that, because of my PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) it was going to be difficult and probably require medical intervention. This news just reinforced that "if it happens" feeling. As I approached my late 30's I had decided that it probably wouldn't happen for me and that by the time I reached 40 I would adopt. That drive to procreate was getting dimmer by the year.

A few years ago I met a man that I fell in love with and recently married....recently as in June 16, 2007. We talked about starting a family, he knew my history and was amiable to adopting if it came down to it. However, we thought that we'd at least give getting pregnant a shot (practicing is a lot of fun). I was not getting my hopes up and had pretty much made up my mind that we'd end up on the adoption rout. After all I'm 37 1/2, not exactly a prime baby making age even without the PCOS.

This past weekend I was sure my period was going to start. I've had my PCOS under control, to the best of my ability, for quite a while now and have been having regular 28 days cycles. So, when my friend had not shown up by Tuesday I was starting to think that I had miscalculated...or was I pregnant? I went ahead and bought a test, but held off another day before taking it. Past experience said that if I waited a day I would start...so why get my hopes up. Marc kept asking when I was going to take the test and I explained my logic for holding off...really, I just didn't want to be disappointed.

The next morning I bit the bullet and took the test. It was 6:00 in the morning and I was still half asleep and as I followed the directions I tried to temper my anticipation. I laid the test on the counter in the bathroom and walked away. Those three minutes ticked by pretty quickly and when I went back to check the results the test clearly said....PREGNANT. What??? I'm pregnant??? Holy Shhhhhhh, I don't believe it. I took the test to the bedroom and woke Marc up. I held up the test to show him and said, "Do you want to be called daddy or pops?"

So, our adventure begins....we've tried to temper our excitement, but it spills out around the edges, like when you squish a half melted ice cream sandwich. We promised to tell only our immediate family and of course have shared the news with a handful of other people. I'll feel better about telling more people once we get past the Doctor appointment on Monday and certainly after the first trimester is over.

Shefa and Danaly have encouraged me to document my experience, because so much gets forgotten as time goes on. While journaling has never been my forte I am going to give it a shot and see if I can keep up with it. I'm hoping that this will be a way to share this journey with friends and family.