Sunday, April 13, 2008

Where has my motivation gone?!?

I feel a bit like I have senioritis, you know that feeling of I am about to graduate and that is all that matters right now, so forget any tests or homework assignments at this point. What does it matter?? I am about to graduate! Except that I am not graduating from high school but from this ten month period called pregnancy and instead of going off to college I will be joining the school of parenthood. I have a short list of things to finish for work and this week is my last before going on maternity leave! I have a little longer list of things that I would like to get done before Isaac arrives.

However, my motivation level is sooooo low right now. I feel like I am curling in on myself, kind of like he is curled up in my belly, resting up for the big day. I don't even really have the capacity to be that social right now. Which for me is saying something! So, I am trying to muster up what ever I have left to finish up these projects so that I can really just let go and rest until he arrives. Or just come to accept the fact that they won't get done and be okay with that too.

Marc and I had a date night last night and it was good to get out and spend some time talking about us and life before and after baby. It was interesting to find out that he's going through a similar process to mentally prepare for being father. We have both been trying to focus on the positive things that we learned and experienced from our childhoods so that we can share similar experiences with our son. We're both nervous about the kind of parents we will be and what those first weeks will look like. Only time will tell, but I think we will be better versions of ourselves in the end.

Today is day 5 before my due date. I had a lot of braxton hix contractions yesterday and it feels like he is a lot lower in my pelvis. Other than that I have all of the normal complaints of the last couple of weeks of pregnancy. I'm just trying to stay as positive as possible and not get stuck in the last trimester BLAHS!

2 comments:

The Ledfords said...

So are you dilated or effaced yet? I am still somehow motivated to get baby stuff done, but definitely am starting to feel like I don't want to work anymore! I must admit it does make the time go by quicker though. Enjoy your last week of work (if possible!) and I will be checking back for updates!

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about being good parents. If you do the best you can with what you have and what you know, your child will grow up fine. Of course, no matter how hard you try "perfect" is a goal that cannot be achieved. What he does beyond that you can't control, he will still think you were dorks, but when Isaac is about 35-50 he'll realize that you weren't so bad and he had a pretty good childhood.

You'll do great.{(Love is the secret ingredient)
Love to all, Barb "Mimi" Ariens